Burstynge Backe upon the Scene - An Analysis of the Underbelly - A Catalogue of Accoutrements - A Tripp Conceivd

I will not be blunte with you. I remaine confydent that yf literatvre operates at the uery keenest edge of existence, my continving preseunce at its lippe must implye a certeyn sharpenesse in myselfe. Rather thane sitte and be blounted by the vicissitudes and libidinousse styes of the citty, I colleckt uppe my penne and with an Herculean Efforte begyn again to Write on the electrick page.

My terrifyinge sickenesses havynge long passed, and the shippe that was to come in with 'Nashe' writ huge on the side havynge laid long out of harbour and eventually run agrounde on a rocke, I searche the streets for medication or solace in whatsoever measure the metropolis wyll dispence. I speke whyspers into keyholes to gain access to cigarre-chokd boudoirs where ill-dressd ladies desporte in flesshy dock-work and calculatynge men keep tyme wythe their adding-machines. I wryte my narrow pathe on the curlynge street of St John’s Wood where the grotesques shamble twain by fearful twain and I slip from bushe to bushe unseen. Nobody dares cross my pathe, for I carrye an armload of Projeckts and deceits by me, to thwart adventurous sailors or brygandes, fundamentalystes and othere ryders of the Crime-Wave. Lette me, for youre benefitt, catalogue my personal effects.

1. A smalle knyfe that can cutte through a bramble or wire.
2. A biggere knyfe thatte can could trimme a mammouthe.
3. A twelvegram of gunpowder.
4. A flake-jackket or bullette-proofe.
5. One brace duelling pistols by which I challenge assailantes to a duel.
6. One paire leather armbands for shew, wythe embossynges.
7. One crymson cape.
8. One monogrammd cutlasse.
9. One poignard to holde between my teethe.
10. One apple for a snacke.

It wyll by nowe be apparent that Nashe, unsafe in his own familiar neighbourhoode, has chosen to take the lawe into hys Owne Handes and is become the best kind of Hispanick VIGILANTE. Although I doe nat have a special name for myselfe, and neither have I observed some of the 20th-Century’s conventions regardynge tightness of Fitt and so forth, I am yet a fearsome and diabolical opponent wyth a smyle lyke a poisond arrow and a cutlass so trenchant it koude gutte a Bulle Elafaunt.

My roomes reducd to a feathery pulp by my anticking at practice, I aym to restore their Opulence by a tripp to the MFI, a journey whose consequences for the criminal underworlde wyll doubtlesse form the topick and measure of my ensuing poste.